GIVE IT A NAME.

They say Love is blind and Marriage is an eye-opener. I never really understood these words until now.

I met Sam back university. He was every girl’s dream, he had lots of admirers, which included  me, Sam had all the qualities a girl could ever want in a man, talk of looks, height, charm, brain, personality.... he had it all, and did i mention he was a power dresser?

 I was thrilled when he chose me among all the numerous girls drooling over him.  We started our relationship and i must confess Sam was a gentleman, he was caring, loving and everything a girl could ever imagine but at the same time, he was very jealous and obsessive and i loved it.  I thought it showed he really loved and cared about me, so when he proposed, it was the best thing in the world, i was overjoyed. I still remembered how he did it... he came to my house and we went to the beach, the mid-summer sun was high in the sky and the sun-tanned air mixed with the breeze conjured an indescribable romantic ambience around us. He looked at me for a second and went on one knee and in the sand at my feet he wrote ‘’ WILL YOU MARRY ME?’’ call it lame or old- fashioned, i thought it was romantic; i screamed and yelled ’’ Yes’’! Little did i know it would be the beginning of my anguish.

It started one afternoon when he came back from his outing and found me lying on the sofa in the living room, his scream woke me up. ‘’ Why the f**k are you sleeping in the living room... Don’t you have a room anymore?’’  Before i could utter a reply he shoved me aside and went straight to the bedroom, i followed him and tried to explain that i had been cleaning and cooking, then fell asleep in the living room but he wouldn’t hear it. Later in the night while i was changing to my PJ, he came to the room and put his arm round my waist.

‘’ Honey, am sorry i acted silly earlier... I had a terrible day. I promise it won’t happen again’’.  I forgave him cos he said it would not happen again. Oh did i mention he’s a house husband?

He decided not to look for another job after he was dismissed from his previous job. We have been living on my income as a nurse, and anytime i tell him to look for a job, he takes it personal and leaves home for days, he comes back home drunk and vicious.

 He came back on evening after he had left home for 3 good days, i decided to question is action but a re-sounding ear deafening slap was delivered to my left cheeks. I held on tight to my cheeks as i couldn’t believe he did it again.

‘’ Sam you promised never to slap me again’’

‘’ I will do it again and again if you do not shut your thrash. Are you drunk? And by the way who the hell are you to question my movement? Oh is it because you have a job and i don’t? So you think you think you are the boss of me abi?’’  I couldn’t believe my ears. This is not the man i married couple of years back, what happened to my Sam? Where did i go wrong? I kept thinking, this abuse is getting too much, i can’t call the police because i am still madly in love with him and i don’t want to end my marriage now but am going crazy as these are just the least of what i face. I even lost 4 months old pregnancy due to his usual aggressive behaviour; he had beaten to pulp because i recorded a Nigerian movie that clashed with the Arsenal Vs Liverpool football match he had set to record. I was admitted in the hospital for days and when he came with roses to apologize, i forgave him.

I just hope i don’t die of depression but i think i need help.